Me No Update So Well

It's time to update this biznatch. As always, it's been a while. Here are five things that have happened since my last update.

1. My wife told me to "stop being a snatch" the other day because I kept complaining about how the vinegar she bought wasn't what I needed for a dinner recipe I was making. It came out of nowhere and made me laugh histerically. It's not everyday my wife calls me a dirty name or something of that nature, but when she does, it's always funny as hell.

2. An Orville Redenbacher commercial forced me to explain to my wife that popcorn is actually a breed of corn and that they don't take sweet corn and magically process it into popcorn.

3. A lunchtime discussion about pork made me realize that I didn't know which part of the pig pork chops come from. As an enthusiastic pork eater, I was very dissappointed with myself. However, I was able to find this informative diagram at the 90 Meat Outlet. (HAM is ASS!)

4. I had a dream that I was stirring a litter box full of cat shit.

5. I found out I am going to be an uncle again. I've very happy for my brother and his wife. It also makes me question whether or not I'm ready to be a father. Part of me says, "You're ready. You'll be a terrific father, teacher, and role model." The other part of me says, "You should not have a kid. As impossible as it sounds, somehow, you'll accidently flush it down the toilet."