After Life

I started reading this book by Geoffrey Abbott, The Executioner Always Chops Twice: Ghastly Blunders on the Scafford, and it got me thinking. If I were ever to be executed, I would want lethal injection. It's painless. First they anesthetize you, then kill you. However, if I were to go out in style, it would be by firing squad.

And when I'm gone. I don't want to be buried or creamated and put in an urn. I want to be taken out to sea and shot out of a cannon. Oooo, or maybe torpedoed out of a submarine. Yeah, that's it. That's how I want to be remembered.

Forgiveness

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned! It's been 11 years since my last confession.

In the past 11 years I have:

blasphemed 1,650 times;
dishonored by mother and father 5 times;
lied 50 times;
did some drugs; and
committed a few scandalous acts.

This past Friday I:

Was in a hurry to vacuum the house before my father, sister, and stepmom arrived from out of town, and got the cord of my fiancé’s cell phone charger caught in the vacuum. It got all chewed up. I blamed it on the dog.
I also blasphemed 12 times.

Amen!