Best Laid Plans Go to Waste

I decided to do something today I would never have done in the past...make plans for Valentine's Day more than two days beforehand. This is totally unheard of, considering that for some reason I despise this holiday with a heated passion hotter than a 1000 suns. Regardless, I know that my fiance expects me to do something nice.

So I made plans and told my fiance that she needs to pick me up on Valentine's Day at the train station near her work at a certain time. Now, most people would probably be excited about the prospect of a surprise rendezvous point and excursion, and would want to know the destination...but not really because they wouldn't want to ruin the surprise.

Not my Kelly.

After sending the mysterious email about picking me up at the train station, she immediately calls me (sounding annoyed) and asks why I need her to pick me up at the train station. "It's a surprise," I said. "Do you want to ruin it?" Kelly replies (like I'm majorly inconveniencing her), "No. I guess not. I'll pick you up."

In light of our conversation, I've decided to change our plans just to piss her off. Instead of the romantic evening I've prepared I'm going to have her drive to the train station and then drive us home (40 min), where I will prepare a dinner of mac & cheese and hotdogs. Then I will sit on the couch, watch TV, and scratch my balls for a couple of hours. After that, I'll excuse myself to the bathroom to rock the kasbah for 2 minutes with a wad of tissue and a titty mag. After that I'll be so tired I'll have to go straight to bed...right after I look at Kelly and say, "What is today? Oh, right. Happy Valentine's Day. (Yaawwwn) Goodnight."