RIP: Turkey Sandwich

It's time to say goodbye, Turkey Sandwich. We've had some great times together. Remember all those times I ate you. Yeah, me too. It was awesome. You were so lean and delicious...simple, yet so complex--I could eat you with white bread and plain old yellow mustard, or dress you up all nice in artisanal breads, cheeses, and fancy lettuces.

But it was too much, I'm bored with you. After so many years, no matter how I dress you up, you bore me. I'm burned out. Everytime I see you, I want to puke. Oh yeah, I've also been cheating on you with Ham Sandwich. And sometimes I feel really dirty and have a hot Italian foursome with Hard Salami, Proscuitto, and Capicola. I can't help it. I have needs.

Maybe someday we'll meet again, when we've both matured a little. But for now, I have to bid you adieu.