5/03/2007

I Rule the Pelvis!

I was bored today and decided to look up my zodiac sign. Being born in November, I am a Scorpio. According to this site, "Scorpio governs the pelvis." This explains a lot, as I have been known to do most of my thinking with my little head instead of my big one. Also, I have been known to make girls orgasm just by thinking about it.

"Right. Whatever. What a douche!" That's what your thinking right now; but remember, I govern the pelvis. So before you start getting angry and jealous because you're, to quote my friend Craig, hung like a tuna can, Scorpios are also more susceptible to pelvic ailments, including priapism. What's priapism?

Well, priapism is the medical term for a painful, chronic boner. It's not soothing to read that at anytime I could pop a 4 hour or more stiffy. Most guys would probably think this would be awesome. But unless your job is a porn star, think how uncomfortable it would be to do anything outside of sex with a raging semi.

But I guess that's the price you have to pay when you rule the pelvis.