1,666 Words a Day

National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) is fast approaching and starts on November 1. For the two people that read this stupid blog and might not know, NaNoWriMo is a competition held every November where you have to write a novel of 50,000 words in one month. That comes out to roughly 1,666 words a day.

Over the next two days I'm going to try and think of a concept for my novel and stick with it...but I'm sure it will eventually revert back to what I know best:

not getting laid enough;
cock and boob jokes;
smelly foreigners on the train; and
more dick jokes

I'll post some excepts along the way and a final version when I'm done. So if you like to read x-rated zombie clown porn sprinkled with recipes for dishes ranging from polish sausage and saurkraut to tuna and bean salad to snicker doodles, then you are in for a treat.

Don't forget to wash the sweet spots!

J

Invading My Space

I work in the city and my wife works in the suburbs. Yesterday morning my wife had a job interview in the city, about 3-4 blocks from where I currently work. We rode the train together.

My Wife: "Wouldn't it be great if I worked downtown. We could ride the train together everyday and we could meet up for lunch all the time. It would be so much fun!"

My Mouth: "Yeah, that would be fantastic."

My Brain: "Oh God, oh God, oh God! Why have you forsaken me? My wife is cronically late. She'll mess up my whole morning routine. She also talks a lot, and loudly. I won't be able to take my morning nap on the train. And my wife will be 'that really loud woman who can't shut up.' How will I be able to take my evening winding-down nap on the train ride home? Jeez, don't we spend enough time together? Somebody save me!"

My Mouth: "Good luck with that interview. You know, I've been thinking of switching jobs as well."

My Brain: "Maybe something in the suburbs, closer to home."