Someone To Do My Stuff

I found one of the coolest websites today--DoMyStuff.com

Basically, you post a chore, job, or other task you need done and people bid on those tasks. The lowest bid wins and gets to do said task.

This would be great for all the chores I hate doing: mowing the lawn, picking up dog shit, emptying the dishwasher, vacuuming the house, picking up dog shit, wiping my ass.

It would even be great for stuff my wife hates to do: put away any of her crap, have sex with me. Ummm...those seem to be the only things she doesn't like to do.

And while this service is geared for those individuals who don't have the time, knowledge, or ability to complete these tasks, I'd post tasks just because I'd rather pay someone else to clean up dog shit while I watch TV.

Random Thoughts

• I hate it when I'm sleeping on the train to work and fart...cause I'm awake enough to feel it coming, but asleep enough that I can't stop it. Then I make a noise to cover it up, like a loud cough or grunt...but it's already to late...everyone is staring at me.



• I used to make fun of my friends by saying the only way they could get laid was by making a hole in their mattress and filling it with jello. After being married for a year...I'd hit that!



• My dogs really like to lick each others' wieners.



• I drew a moustache on a bottle of vinegar just so I could call it a douchestache.



• I imagine getting punched in the boob is a lot like getting kicked in the nuts...there are a lot of women I'd like to punch in the tit.

That's all for now.

Baby Makers Union -- Local 647

My wife and I have been trying to make a baby for a few months. When we finally both agreed that it would be a good idea for me to have little JTs running around, I thought it would be sex all the time. And in the beginning, it was...for about a month. Then, when my wife found out that she wasn't pregnant, she started to do a little in-depth research on ovulation. Apparently there are only a few days out of the month when it's prime time for making babies.

That's when I started to feel like a union worker.

"Hey, we got job for you. It's only for about 3 or 4 days. Then you'll be laid off again."
"Well, do I have a chance at any extended work?"
"No, don't expect any more work until next month. And don't you dare call us asking around for a little hand out. We'll call you when you are needed."